Radiation, Finally, 2 down

Hello all. Sorry I didn't post yesterday for my first radiation treatment. I was coming down with some type of flu bug. Fever, chills, aches, nausea. Fever got to 102 even after Tylenol. I ended up taking some Sudafed and Motrin and fell asleep!

Troy took me to my radiation appointment today, because I was still a bit dizzy and not feeling well. My appt was at 830. They were on time today.

Yesterday, my appt was at 245 and didn't get in until 345, then I was on this cold hard table for 45 minutes. I mean it was very hard. They had to do some xrays to make sure they were radiating the right spots.

I went into Meditation mode, Reiki Meditation. I saw angels. pink, blue and green. They kept me safe and helped to direct the radiation to where it needed to go.

Meditation is good for the soul. I started meditating today too. I only saw pink today, which is Archangel Raphael, who is my Archangel. She is a healer.

Most of my radiation appts are at 830 in the morning. A few are around 3pm, but mostly 830. I will be driving myself.

I will keep you all updated, next radiation treatment is on Tuesday. They are closed on Monday. Holiday, what Holiday? It is Jan2???

Anyway, Love to you all and HUGS to you all.

Love Jennifer. xoxoxoxo

Hand in Hand

Givaway Freebie

Have you seen the pages I have made with my Digital Scapbooking kit? Look at the article title Mt Marie, for Dennis Durgin.

To win this My Memories V3, you need to go to the article named above and count all the different rocks seen and email to me at
Jbagleyfnp@hotmail.com

Contest closes on 1/1/2012!!!

I do have 2 other my memories suite to give away. Stay tuned on how to win it!

Jen Bagley

My Memories Suite, V3

Freebie download, please follow link below.



http://mymemories.us1.list-manage2.com/track/click?u=2db59f577e9668b002ca5c0af&id=ed46d493ac&e=e1be519900


If you want to purchase My Memories Suite please visit:


http://www.mymemories.com/ and use CODE:    STMMMS84636

You will get a discount price off the original price. $10 off.

Mt. Marie, for Dennis Durgin

Mt. Marie, South Paris, Maine

The Best Mine in Maine.

Thank You Dennis for a wonderful experience!!

Angry People

This is from a blog that I came across. From the Magik chic.

"MONDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2011
How To Deal With Angry People
I've come across many people this month who are angry for wrongs committed against them.  These people have a right to be angry, but there must come a time when we ask ourselves, "Why am I still in this fight?" Most of these arguments are unspoken because there's so much water under the bridge.  As we approach the stressful holiday times, these undercurrents of anger can feel very intense.

But here's what I'd like everyone to consider: if someone is being mean to you and is acting in such a way to make this painfully clear, who wins if you get angry, upset and hurt in return?  THEY DO.  And you lose.

More importantly, why even join in the battle?

People who maintain a negative, angry attitude are sad and depressed and insecure.  Trust me, angry people are never happy people.  Yes, we all get angry and anger can be a great motivating source.  But I'm talking about the people who always choose anger, passive aggression and negativity over all other emotions.  These are people to be pitied and prayed for not ones who should be allowed to hurt us.

And let me make this very clear -- if an angry person is hurting you, it is your choice to remain hurt.  We have a choice in every, single situation we face.  Never forget that.

Why does this family member dislike you or that co-worker despise you?  Who knows?  And, more importantly, who cares?  You have better things to do with your time and energy.  Do not allow them to suck your energy dry because if you let them, they will.

If you find your blood boiling around these angry people, if you find yourself talking incessantly about the person to others, then you can bet that you too have caught the angry bug.

To make yourself immune from the angry bug, remember these tips:

Someone's anger toward you is NOT a reflection of you.  Their anger only reflects poorly on them.  What they think of you is none of your business.  Really.  Anger is born of jealousy, insecurity, hatred, regret, unforgiveness and deep depression.  It is not rooted in your actions but rather in their shadow.  When you can see this, really see this, you just might find that you feel sad for this angry person and might even feel compassion for them.  That is the goal.

When dealing with the angry person, do not allow yourself to be pulled into their angry vortex.  If they brag, let them.  Congratulate them too.  If they try to one up you, give them the lead.  I think this might be what Jesus meant"


This is so True. Thank you Magik Chic for this blog. I reposted because I thought it felt in the moment. things going on in my life.

Abby's First Christmas Concert

Today, Abby had her first Christmas Concert of many to come. She is taking after her Daddy. Troy was a singer and trumpet Player.

 Abby is hiding behind the Music stand. She is in the black polka dotted dress. She loves playing the clarinet.

 Abby on the left hand side, getting ready to sing. This is the 4th grade class at Newport Elementary School.

This is her whole class.



I am so proud of Abby-Sue. She has been my Rock, my friend, my daughter and my Faith and Hope.

I see Dr. O'Connor Thursday, Will update everyone when I have the definite pathology report.

Jennifer

Pathology Report

I got a call from my new surgeon, Dr. O'Connor today. She told me that 8 nodes werre removed. 1 was positive with active breast cancer within the node..

This was excellent news. Merry christmas, i will be able to have a joyfull .
Christmas

Surgery Went Well

I had surgery on Friady, Dec 3rd. It went well. D.r O'Connor performed the surgery. She removed several nodes, not sure of the amount. Will know more with pathology report.

I am still quite sore and swollen. My drain is still draining a lot of fluid. It will remain in until it has decreased tremendously.

I am quite tired. Could not sleep in the hospital. Too many interruptions.

My Benefit Supper on Saturday night was a success. I want to thank everyone who came and donated money, food or desert. Itg was a great time. About 200 people there.

A big thanks to Debbie, Danielle and Alicia and their Families that helped out as well. A huge success.

Radiation should start in about 2 weeks.

Until next blog, love you all
Jennifer

There will be another supper on Dec 11, Sunday for Abby Caron. Please come and join us for another dinner and donate. Abby has MoyaMoya Disease, problems with arteries in her neck and brain and will need surgery in Boston. I will be there to support her. (She is in the same Daycare as Zach)

Delay in Rads, Surgery on Friday

So, I obtained a second opinion with Dr. Susan O'Connor for removing more lymph nodes. Radiation or Rads for short, has been pushed at least 2 weeks off.

I have wanted to have my other lymph nodes removed before chemo but my initial surgeon did not want to hold chemo. Then after chemo, he said that there are new studies out that state that by going back in to remove lymph nodes, it would not prolong my life or mortality. I did not like his answer.

Thanks to my Aunt Cyndi whom I love dearly, came to my last two infusions. My husband, Troy was home with Zach who had a cold. Well Cyndi really pushed and asked about a second opinion. I am glad that I got to see O'Connor.

Surgery tomorrow, need to be at EMMC at 9am and surgery is at 1030 am. Dr. O'Connor will make a small incision and remove a number of lymph nodes. She will send away for pathology. We will see.

Rads will start after drains come out and I have recovered, about 2 weeks.

Supper on Saturday night. I will be there. I may come home same day as surgery or may stay overnight, not sure yet. But I will not miss the supper that Debbie White is putting on for me and Troy. I want to thank her and her daughter, Danielle. They are doing a lot for us. Danielle is taking Zach for the night, he will have fun because my other great friend, Alicia is bringing her boyfriend's daughter over to play. Rylie. They should have fun.

I want to thank everyone for all the support and thoughts. Well wishes.

Can everyone who is reading this, send a special prayer for Abby Caron, she is a young girl at Zach's daycare. She had several strokes a few weeks ago and has been diagnosed with MoyaMoya disease. A problem with circulation in the brain. She is going to Boston on Monday for an angiogram of her brain. Please send prayers on Monday am. She is a brave and cute little girl!!! There will be a supper for her next weekend I believe as well. Please keep her in your prayers. I made a bracelet for her and her mother. Please visit my Facebook Page    The Wishing Tree.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Wishing-Tree/148676808562055. Please click Like if you like the page. thanks.

I will update after surgery.

Love you all.
Jennifer

The Simulation

Hello everyone.

I know it has been a while since writing. My life has been up and down. Busy but not. Tired and recuperating from the awful chemotherapy. It has been about 3 1/2 weeks since my last treatment. PHew. That was a long 4 months. I am done with the poison.

I had my Simulation last Friday. This is where the radiology oncologist puts you through a CT scan, measures the diameter of your chest, places tattoos for radiation and sends you on your way, after lying on this cold table for 30 minutes with your hands above your head. I didn't mind. I set myself to meditation and called on my Reiki Guides and my Archangels Michael and Raphael. They enveloped me and could feel their wings engulfing me. Before I knew it, it was over. The tattoos are made with one needle with a little bit of ink. I have 3 now. I have never had a tattoo before. It wasn't too bad!!! one on the side of where my left breast was, one in the middle of my chest and one on the outside of right breast. Not too bad.

I will start rads on Nov 30. I will have 33 treatments. so that puts me into Jan before I am done. As long as there are no bad snow storms to delay my rads. If I have to miss an appt for radiation, then they tack it on the end of the rounds.

On Monday, I have a second opinion with Dr. Susan O'Connor for further resection of the lymph nodes in the left axillary area. Dr. Huang stated that there is a new study out that states that you shouldn't go back into do more surgery. I don't know. So will see another doc on Monday. Then Wednesday, radiation.

I am seeing a behavioral pyschiatrist as well, Dr. Fergeson at Lafayette. He is very nice. HE is going to help me with my anxiety and fatigue due to chemotherapy and the dx of breast cancer. He is good.,

Abby and Zach are doing great. They are glad to have their mommy back and feeling a little better. I don't spend most of the day in bed or in the chair as much as I used to. I am getting up earlier. I haven't slept late for at least 2 weeks. Late as in 10am. That chemo was bad for me though good at killing the cancer cells.

I have had a rib that has been hurting on the cancer side in the back area. I was scared that maybe the cancer had spread. Bone Scan Monday was negative except for a tooth that has been bothering me. I am on Amoxicillin for it.

Taxol was the second chemo agent I was on and I have some lasting effects that may or may not go away. I won't know for at least 6-8 months if it will go away. My fingers and toes are numb and tingly. I have a hard time feeling with the tips of my fingers. the sheets hurt my toes. It is an awful feeling. I make bracelets and necklaces. I can't feel the beads. I have to be careful. One night I found like a handful of beads in my lap cause I dropped them. haha. I am taking Gabapentin and it helps a bit.

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!.

I am selling Scentsy products. visit my website. http://www.jbagleycaringsoul.scentsy.us/.
A little of work on the side. I love all the smells, esp blueberry cheesecake.

Until next time, I love you all.

                                    The Silver Pen

This is me just a few days ago. little bit of hair, just little fuzzy on top, little bit longer in the back

                                               Zach took this picture himself
                                               with my iPhone. reverse picture

Lepidolite necklaces by Dennis Durgin, Mt Marie
South Paris.

He is very talented, mines his own minerals.

One for me, the lower one with rose quartz
the top one for Abby with Tourmaline (I believe)

                                                      My Handsome DAD with
                                                                  my Wig on.

Zach at Daycare, Little Tot's Daycare Corinna.



Hope Flower










My Painting,
The Hope Flower














Please visit my website as well.

http://www.healingsoulbyjb.com/

http://www.jbagleycaringsoul.scentsy.us/  open house this weekend. Contact me for more details.

http://www.healingcrystals.com/

Love
Jennifer
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Halfway There

Hello all. It has been a while since writing. I have my own little support group on facebook. We started out on breastcancer.org. We have moved on due to some moderation issues. But we are lovin it on facebook. There are so many diverse women in the group named Fighters, a closed group to those with cancer. Fighting or survivor.

We have one from Greece, 2 from Ireland, i believe, many from the US and several from Ontario, Canada. We keep invtouch. We are all around the same time frsme of chemo and radiation! We try to keep each other uplifted.

I go friday for simulation for radiation. Then 33 treatments, mon-fri for about 5 weeks.


Zach and I had Friday and Saturday tobond and have time together. I love him so much. He is a handfull!!!! I was pooped onSunday. I had some weird things happening! The energy in the air was charged positively and negativly. My medium intentions were subconsciously telling me to oprn up my energy. As my healing energy opens and gets stronger, i have symptoms of saddness and headaches.

I want to send out healing energy to my whole support team.
Abby, zach, troy, mom,dad, mimi, cyndi, karen belanger, debbie white and danielle white, alicia jacobs and all my pts that have helped me. You know who you are! Thank you with all of myheart and soul i love all of you!!!

Jennifer

8 Treatments Done!!! Only radiation left

Monday, October 31st was my last chemo treatment.  I am so excited. Only 2 more weeks of feeling poorly. The side effects have not kicked in yet, the bad ones anyway. I have been tired and yesterday after getting home from Lafayette I was pretty much dead to the world. I went straight to bed and slept for at least 2 hours, then Troy took Abby out Trick or Treating. She had a great time. I stayed and cuddled with Zach until they got back. I went back to bed and slept until 11 am this morning.

Zach has been sick the whole last 2 weeks. He was up Sunday all night coughing. I probably only got 2 hours of sleep. Troy stayed home with him and my Aunt Cyndi came and sat with me while I had my infusion. Thank you Cyndi.

I am waiting for an appt for my CT and simulation for the Radiation. I will let everyone know when that is when I get the date. Then will be tattooed and then will start radiation.

Mt Marie, South Paris Maine, No Trespassing Sign

 Thursday, last week, my Aunt Cyndi took Abby and me to Mt. Marie, in South Paris, Maine. Dennis Durgin owns the mountain and mines there. He made the two necklaces that you see further down. Matching, one for me and one for Abby. We came home with, I think the whole Mountain. Smokey Quartz and Clear Quartz, I love them. I also got some rough Lepidolite and small pieces of Watermelon Tourmaline. they are quite rough and are good for bedside pieces. Healing stones.

Matching Lepidolite Necklaces

My dad with my Wig on!!

Lepidolite on Mt Marie, South Paris Maine



Abby and Mommy on top of Mt Marie, South Paris Maine




Girly Vampire

Cyndi, Abby and me sitting on top of Mt Marie

Dennis, Abby and Cyndi looking for Beryl


We had a fun time on top of Mt Marie. Abby still has to write a paper on what she learned because I took her out of school to go and mine gems. We had a great time.


Will leave another message in  a few days.
Love you all.
Jennifer

1 More to Go!!!!!!

I am really excited to say in one week, I have my last chemotherapy infusion! Yay me! Taxol. Hard on my body though I think it is a bit better than the A/C. One of theater side effects of taxol is neuropathy. I now know what my diabetic pts are talking about. It hurts like he'll. I have it in my toes to the knuckles and in the tips of my fingers. It hurts if ach steps on my feet with or without shoes on. They are super sensitive.

I meet with my surgeon tomorrow to talk about removing more lymph nodes and rt Brest. I am opting forca personal choice of removing my rt breast because my cancer was stage 3.

I am speaking at the cultural center in Newport about my journey and early detection of self breast exams. I am really excited! I will be also raffling off my jewelry and some lobsters. Tickets sold at cultural center.

Hopefully all goes well. I need to do some research on numbers and such. It will turn out ok.

I want to thank Sverige whom have helped my family.

Thanks
Jennifer

7 Down, 1 More to go!!!!!! Yay

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I last wrote anything.

I had treatment #7 yesterday. Unfortunately, Troy couldnt be with me. Zach has croup. Barking cough but no runny nose. My Aunt Cyndi met me at the Lafayette center and sat with me the whole time. She dropped her whole day for me! Thank you so much Cyndi. Love u lots!!!!! You are the best!

It is only day 2 and I feel poorly. I had a genetics appt today to talk about family history. I decided that I should be checked for the BRCA gene mutation. My moms family history on the women is really unknown. They all passed away before the age of 50. We don't know if they would have had breast cancer or not. One sister had leukemia and passed away my freshman ur in high school.

My eyelashes are starting to fall out. It's the last bit of hair left on my body.

I met Shannon Byers yesterday. She is a survivor of breast cancer. She is young like me. She has helped me tremendously with this diagnosis! Thank you, Shannon. It was very nice meeting you yesterday.

Mom and dad, Gail, thank you for all that you have done for us. It means everything to have your support! ESP during the issue with my brother. He just doesn't understand beast cancer. I still love him wholeheartedly.

Debbie and Danielle, thank you for everything you have done for my family!!! You both are angels. Zach loves you two! Thank you.

Talk to you all later.
Love and hugs
Jennifer

Update on Dehydration

On Friday, I had to go to Lafayette for some fluids. I had a fever and diagnosed with Bronchitis. This last round hit me hard. I was quite tired, achey all over. I was in bed for at least 2 days.

Last Thursday night, my fever was 100.5 and I had chills! I was told in the beginning to watch for fever and to go to the ER if I got one. Well, I had used a heating pad due to the body aches from the Taxol. I got so hot, omg. I waited till morning to see if my temp went down. It was still 100.3. I called my oncologist and they squeezed me in with a Nurse PRactitioner at 3 pm. I had blood cultures, cbc and bmp drawn from my arm and my port. THey then removed the needle from my port.

I went to see the NP and she ordered fluids, so they had to stick my port again. They gave me a whole Liter of fluid. One whole bag, and never went to the bathroom. I was quite dehydrated. I had been couging but not bringing up anything. Well wth the fluids,  started coughing up stuff. She also put me on Zithromax.

I felt a lot better after the bag of fluids. My potassium was low too, at 2.7 which is quite critical. They gave me K+ in the fluids.

My Mom also came up and met us at the Lafayette Center, she came for the weekend to help with Zach on Saturday. With the fatigue and body aches, I need a little help.  I can not wait for this to be over.

Only 2 More to Go.

I will keep you all updated.
Love Jennifer
:+)

6 Down, 2 More to Go!!! YAY!!!

On Monday, October 3rd, I had my 6th Treatment. My 2nd Taxol dose. The infusion went well. No reactions. No mouth tingling. So far, it is Tuesday afternoon, no real side effects yet except my toes are a bit tingly and I keep having hot flashes.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have coordinated with the Cultural Center in Newport to speak about My story and about Early Detection of Breast Cancer. It will be the end of this month. Please be there and support me in spreading the word about Early Detection. There will be a raffle of homemade jewerly made by myself and some light refreshments.

Pinktober is the nickname of October's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Early detection is the key.

I am so glad that I have only 2 more treatments left. 2 Taxol. The infusions last over 3 hours, I think it is harder on my husband then me. The chairs for the partners are a little hard. I have a nice recliner and it was a little chilly there yesterday. I got a nice warm blanket.

I saw a nurse practitioner that was really nice. Diana Porter FNP. She answered a lot of questions for me.

My labs are the same. Still anemic but it didn't drop. Hemoglobin was 8.4 from 8.3! no change, but feeling a bit better.



I want to thank everyone who has helped me through this awful road. My family has been great. Troy, Abby, you are my rocks. Mom and Dad, I love you and thank you for your support too. Mom thanks for being able to come and help with Zach. I love him but he is in to everything. Cyndi, thank you as well. You have been there for me throughout this journey.


I want to make a special thank you to Debbie White and Danielle White. They have been a great support to me and my family. They not only Zach's daycare provider but they have been a great support to me. They have been there by my side throughout my journey. I want to give them a special Thank you. Debbie and Danielle Thank you so much.

I also thank Karen Belanger, my reiki master, my friend, my angel. If it weren't for her as well, my treatments would be a lot worse. My side effects have been mild. thanks for the attunements and helping me channel my energy.


I am actually kind of nervous about the ending of my chemo, I am glad but what if the cancer cells are still alive? What if? I know I shouldn't feel like this but it's there. I have more surgey and 33 radiation treatments due. So it looks like mid January before i return to work. We will see.


I want to thank everyone else that has been there for me as well.

Hugs
Jennifer

 This is my Dad. With his bald head and mine, we look exactly alike. Same eyes, same smile, same bald head.

I love you dad with all my heart.

This was very pretty, trees with reflection on the water.

My aunt Cyndi, my Bud in Shining Armour. She has been there for me throughout this journey.

I painted this last week. It is called the Hope Flower.

This is my Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure Front page for my New Digital Album from My Memories Suite.

The program is awesome.

My Memories Suite

Please review the web site listed. I have some special codes so that you can get a discount on My Memories Suite. I got it free and I will be giving away one FREE SUITE. Please follow the link below. I will be adding some pages that I put together as well.


Promotion CODE: STMMMS84636 (at checkout)



http://www.mymemories.com/digital_scrapbooking_software



Please review this link, digital scrapbooking software, I will be giving one of my readers a free My Memories v2. Pick out your favorite digital pack and let me know what it is. You can send me a message here or on Facebook.

The 10th person to write a comment on my facebook updated blog for 10/1/11 will win this free downloadable program but you need to let me know which layout you like as well.

http://www.facebook.com/mymemoriessuite facebook page.



I give it a thumbs up. I have played with it and find it very easy to use.



I love you all.

Jennifer Bagley,

Breast Cancer Survivor

The Radiation Oncology Consultation

Hello everyone, I know, it has been a week since my last communication. I had my radiation consult today with dr. szal. he was very nice, very thorough. i will be getting 33 treatments of radiation. Which is about 5 to 6 weeks worth.                                                                                        

Taxol side effects have been a lot different then the side effects of adriamycin and cytoxan. i am weak, tired and cant feel my toes. they are so numb! esp my big toes.cant feel a thing u til zach steps on them, right on the edge, then it really hurts.                                                                

One step at a time, one step closer to the final chemo. I will be taking pics of my last day at Lafayette with a picture of me outside of the building.                                                                          

My cat needs to b euthanized tomorrow. he is 15 yrs old, but he broke his left front paw, won't put any weight on it. i have made him comfy with a soft blanket. abby is pretty upset. he has been around longer than she has. hugs to all                                                                                      

 post more tomorow.

jennifer

5 Down, 3 More to Go

Hello all. I apologize for not posting since the 11th. I did not do well after my 4th A/C treatment. The fatigue was so bad, anemia was bad too. I had to take a nap in the evening after supper for  an hour just to feel good. My head was pounding and so tired, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I only felt good lying down.

I recieved my 2nd Attunement, so when I am done with my chemo treatments, I can start giving Reiki treatments. I believe that Reiki is a blessing. My Reiki guides and Ascended Masters watch over me. My Archangel Raphael watches over me too. My Guardian Angel Meredith watches over me.

I had my 5th treatment yesterday. So there has been a Taxol shortage across the United States, but the Lafayette Center has some saved up. I got it yesterday.

Taxol is a very touchy chemotherapy agent. A lot of women have reactions to Taxol like anaphalaxis, throat closing up, severe bone or back pain, rash, hives, agitation. The scheduling team scheduled me for a 1050 am blood draw, 1130 MD visit, then 1230 infusion. They were running a little behind in the infusion center so I didn't get in until 130pm. So with the taxol side effects during the infusion, they don't schedule anyone past 9am. But the nurses got my premeds started fast and hoped for no side effects. The taxol has to run for 10 min for test dose and if you have a reaction, they have to do a challenge dose by decreasing how fast it drips. Well........I had no side effects. Yahooooo!!!! so they actually bumped up the drip a little faster still no side effects. The only downfall..............even at the faster rate it takes 3 hours to infuse. We did not leave Lafayette Center until 515pm!!! We had to call family to pick Zach up from Daycare. I thank Connie and Alfred for picking Zach up with Mimi, (Gail, Troy's mom).


This morning, Tuesday, at 4 am, my husband woke me up coughing. He went to the bathroom and came back, he called for me becuase he felt like he was going to pass out. His heart was beating really fast at 140 beats per minute. I immediately went into nurse mode. He actually wanted me to call the ambulance, so at 430am they showed up. I again called Connie and Alfred to stay with the kids, as they were still sleeping. I didn't want to wake them up. Connie and Alfred got here about 5am and I left for the hospital.

Troy's EKG had some changes, ischemia. His Troponins were all negative so no heart attack!!! Thank God. He has been under a lot stress with me and work and taking care of the household. I love him so much. He is due to have a Stress Test tomorrow. Then hopefully home. I will update everyone.

I am feeling really good right now. The Taxol hasn't caused as much fatigue yet. Major Side Effects are flu like symptoms, muscle and bone pain. I can deal with the pain, not the fatigue.

Karen Belanger, my Reiki Master, loves Dragonflies.

More Dragonflies

I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on Sunday. I have never been so overwhelmed by the amount of people involved with any type of walk. There were more than 5600 people involved with this walk. Over 400 Breast Cancer Survivors up on stage prior to the walk. Sea of pink. It was an eye opener. If you go to WLBZ channel 2 news. Click on the Race for the Cure and if you watch the video, you will see Abby holding my hand at the very end, then they show Abby for 5-8 seconds then on me for about 15 seconds, I am looking at Abby. The song that was playing was I'm Gonna Love You Through It, of course I started crying and then Abby came to me. That was when we were holding hands and the lady filming moved closer to us and shot us holding hands.

I also went to the Survivor Supper at Hollywood Slots on Saturday night, before the Race for the Cure. I had steak and vegies, buffet style and Hollywood Slots payed for the whole night. Cash Bar. But the food was really good.

I have had some side effects of Taxol while writing this blog. I have wicked gas. Can't stop burping!!! and well the other end too. but we won't talk about that.

I am feeling pretty good, I am hoping that I won't crash tomorrow. I have to go pick Troy up. We will see.

Love you all.
Talk later
Jennifer
Hugs to everyone

PS. I thank Connie and Alfred for being there for us to help out the kids and my mother who came up to stay with me and help with the kids while Troy is in the hospital.

Day 6 of my 4th Treatment

hi, everyone. i didnt post yesterday because i was not good yesterday. quite fatigued, tiried, shakey, jittery.  yesterday was a bad day. the side effects came on late this time, i felt good wed, thursday and friday am. then when i woke up sat, i knew it was gonna be a bad day. if i sleep late, its not a good day. my body tells me and i listen. i may stay in bed until ten am or eleven am.                                                                                                                                                    .........................................................   i can not wait until this stupid chemo is done. it ways me down. my next round is taxol. though there is a shortage in the us right now. i might have to take a sister like drug to taxol, though the tx schedule is every 3 weeks.....we will see.    ..................... my stomach is a bit upset right now, might need to go get a phenergan. .....................................................................................         abby starts band tomorrow, she is playing the clarinet. she is so excited............................................................................................     phone is going dead, i will update again soon . love u all. jennifer                                                  

Day 3 of 4th chemo tx

hi all, having issues with caps again. if i do shift and letter, i lose the whole paragraph. this is from my phone anywya. they have updated the blogger and things have changed....                                                                                                                                 .....                                                                                                                                                                                                                           i am on day three of my fourth treatment. a bit tired, my taste buds are gone again. living on spearmint lifesavers. though you need to be careful, i broke a tooth chomping on one and now it needs to be fixed......i feel a heaviness in my chest, fatigue like. biut it is a se. i am thankful that i have not been sick.....some of my country friends on breastcancer.org have been quite sick. i feel for them. i post at least two times a day. we keep in touch with each other. there is one from uk, ireland, england, australia, california, maine, all over our country. it is good to converse with them................................................ ....                                                                                                                                                                                                                             it is awful when you cant sleep. it is midnight right now.......... my mom is coming up tomorrow to help with zach on saturday. i prob will not be able to do much. the fatigue gets really outrageous. i can hardly get up the stairs let alone run after a  3 yr old.........                                                                                                                                                                                                      ................                                                                                                                                                                                                                 if you go to breastcancer.org and go to stoneyfield farm, there is a new program where for ever click stoneyfield is donating ten cents for every click. it is quite interesting. my story is posted as another young woman with breat cancer.

4 Down, 4 More to Go

Hello all.

Well, I am halfway through my CHemo Treatments!!!!! Yay me. I had #4 yesterday. A/C. Starting in 2 weeks, I go to Taxol. Although, there is a shortage of this chemo drug, I hope that Lafayette will continue to have it. My onc doctor stated that they have some left there. If not then, I will get Dosi-Taxol, a sister drug to Taxol.

Today, I have a bit of nausea, the fatigue hasn't set in yet. Tomorrow, is Day 3 of treatment, so I am assuming it will hit me about 3 pm, as it has for the last 3.

I am totally bald now. I took a razor to my head, shaved the last few remaining sprigs of hair. IT was bothering me. I think I look better with a bald head anyway. Troy likes it.

I am adding Kylie Jo Merithew in my thoughts and prayers. She is a neice of one of my fb friends. She was diagnosed with leukemia in October of 2010. She is 8 years old, birthday in December. She is in remission but receiving continued maintenance therapy. I will keep her in my prayers and thoughts, that she has a "normal" rest of her childhood and that the leukemia will not come back. Thanks Tracey.

Will keep everyone posted. see you all soon.

((((HUGS)))) to everyone.
Jennifer

The Blue Hill Fair

hello all. just wanted to drop a quick note. my family and i went to the blue hill fair yesterday. we only stayed for a bit. my mom and dad came and met us. abby went on some rides. i had french fries from the king and queens. the best............       on our way out, a lady stopped me and asked if i was in treatment and i said yes, four of eight coming up. she said that she was a four year survivor and wanted to wish me luck. i gave her a big hug and thanked her. she had seen me walk past her, and she told me that she was hoping i would walk back. she was at a lemonade stand.                                                                   ...                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the second thing that happened, as we were walking out, i was tired, this older gentleman stopped me and asked where i had gotten my pink breast cancer bracelet? i said the first thing that came to mind....i bought it.....what i meant to say was i got it online at the pink ribbon store. i got five. so he said that his wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer and had looked in many drugstores and couldnt find one. so i handed my mom the doughboy i was eating. i took it off and handed it to this gentleman. he looked very surprised at the thought that i guess that i would give it to him. he had tears in his eyes. i gave him a big hug. i started crying too. i know that i have many angels looking out for me and i know i did  the right thing. i had more at home and wished i had brought a few with me so that his wife could have had one too. i know that hw will wear that bracelet and be proud.  i feel really happy.                                                                                                         .......                                                                                                                                                                                                                       i will add pics tomorrow once i download the pics from my phone to my laptop.it will be easier.                                                                                                                     i have treatment four tomorrow. lets hope for minimal side effects.

A Trip to See a Friend

Hello all. I just want to drop a quick note. i went into Bangor today to visit my friend, alaura morgan. she was in the car accident back in july, when her guardian angel pulled her from her car before it caught on fire. She is looking good. She still has a couple of wounds that are trying to heal but she is in good spirits. i held her hand for quite a whiile. i made her a nice bright pink pillow with a star on the outside. she took her little pillow, hospital one (Ihave 2 from both my surgeries, they are quite thin) she immediately placed it to her belly. i am glad that she liked it.

8 went to AC Moore and felt good while walking around. i had some ideas to make a cross stitch piece with dragonflies for my reiki master, there wasnt a single package with dragonflies. only butterflies. so i am gonna make my own pattern and figure outt the colors myself. i just print graph paper to match the linen i will use. she will be surprised. Karen has been a godsend, i dont think that i would have made it this far  without her and reiki. she has been my outside support during my time of need. she has sat with me and listened to all my fears, happiness, family things. she has not once asked for any moneey. she is one of my reiki guides. she is a true inspiration to me. she has opened me up and helped me to achieve the next level of healing myself. Karen, you will be missed when you return to your home town. i will be looking for you in the spring.

I have also chat rooms from breastcancer.org, forums and blogs. i converse with women all over the united states through these forums. thank god i have people to talk with whom are going through the same.

see u all later.

Have a happy and safe Labor Day. Don't drink and drive!


                      x
                    xxxx
                    xx  xx
                    xx  xx
                    xx  xx
                     xxxx
                    xx   xx
                  xx       xx
              xxx           xxx    pink ribbon




jennifer

A Good Day with Zach

I had most of today with my son, zachary. daddy was off doing his fantasy football draft with his buddies. Zach and i played a princess computer game (was Abby's), then had cheese pizza for lunch. he ate the bread and i ate his cheese. after that we played wii resort he loves the plane and the water skiing between obstacles. he also likes the bicycle one. i think i got more pf a workout today then in the last 4 weeks!  we had turned the wii off and started watching lion king 1 1/2 and loves pumba the pig. we had a good day today, just me and him. i havent been able to do much over the last week with him. we snuggled and snuggled.

he is a good boy. just needs to quite regressing to (terrible 2s). usually happens when there is a stresspr in the home. need to use timeout and time. his mom is being treated for a bad breast cancer.

i will give him all i got when i am good.

i love both my kids!
jennifer
xxooxxoo

xx  xx
xxxxx
 xxxx
   xx
    x

Day 5 of my 3rd Treatment

I am actually not feeling too bad today. Tired but not as fatigued today. Resting all day long. I was able to cook supper tonight. This 3rd treatment has not been that bad, the last one has been by far the worst!  I still cant taste  anything and suck on wintergreen mints most all the time. The bad taste in my mouth is horrible, but it will soon go away.

Abby can't wait for school to start. Tuesday! I can't believe my little girl is going to be in 4th grade!

My next treatment is on Sept 6 tuesday due to labor Day. we are going to the Blue Hill Fair on the Sunday before. I need my King and Queens French Fries! and doughboy before my next treatmrnt. I can't  wait! Will be meeting my parents there.

until the next blog, do your self breast exams and  get your mammogram.
jennifer
xxooxxoo

Day 3 of chemo treatment

I am feeling tired and fatigued today. My Reiki Master, Karen stopped by to visit me today. She brought some organic cucumbers and have already eaten 2 of them. So yummy, even with hardly any taste buds.

The thing about beating cancer is a positive attitude even when you're not feeling well. Reki music helps calm my soul. I love my kids and husband. 5hey are an inspiration to me. Both Troy and I believe that neither of us could be a sinle parent! It's hard to worry about two kids,though abby doesnt start school for another week!

She is going to be in 4th grade! Can't believe it. She wants to play the flute too. she loves to sing as well as her daddy.

Reiki is my new attitude along with crystal healing. please visit crystalhealing.com. it is a great web site for crystals and the spiritual side of healing.  I still highly recommend eastern medicine, chemo and such. But if you believe spiritually you are going to help heal, go with it.

My Chakras are all open, bad energy flowa out through my feet everytime I place my feet on the floor. thank you Karen.

love
Jennifer
xxooxxoo

3 Down, 5 More to GO

Well, I had my 3rd Treatment yesterday. It went pretty well, took some premeds before the infusion and was quite sleepy. But sleeping is good at this time. I had a dear friend take me to the treatment this time, Jenny D. Thank you. 

I felt that Troy needed some Abby and Daddy time. They went to Bangor, looking at instruments for Abby this year, saw a Matinee of Spy Kids, and then had lunch at the Olive Garden. They had a great day and I am greatful. Troy needed some time away. Though I did miss him. 

Today, I am feeling tired. Slept to 1130 then came down stairs to sit in rocking chair. Watched some Forensic Files and than about 230 I fell asleep until 445. wow. tired. Tomorrow, I feel that I will probably be more fatigued, then tired. Took my decadron and some phenergan, I think the phenergan is what made me tired. But that is ok. I would rather sleep through the fatigue then be awake!!!!

Kids are doing great. Though Zach fractured his radius need the wrist, (missed the growth plate though, phew!!) He is doing great with his splint, not taking it off. I am sure it feels better with the splint on! more support.

Well, gonna go, just wanted to update blog.
Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure is on Sept 18th. please donate if you can under Team Name      Team Caring Soul. my team name, if you would like to walk as well you can register under my team name too. 

Thank you for all the love, prayers, thoughts. 

Love Jennifer



My Loving Family



Reiki Guides, Angel Guides

I want to first thank Karen Belanger, my Reiki Master. If it weren't for your gift of relaxation, spirituality, and loving acceptance, i probably would have worse chemotherapy symptoms. I believe that the meditations, crystal healing and soul searching have and will continue to heal me and kill those cancer cells. The power of prayer and meditation have grounded me. i do feel as though my energy is so high and intuned with my body, that these bad cells don't stand a chance!

Again, Karen, thank you for all that you have done for me. taking time from your busy summer schedule to teach, mentor and release with me. Thank you, from my soul. I love you.

To my Husband, Troy, without you, there would be no way I could get through this. I love you!!
To Debbie White, who has helped more then she knows. Zach has a special daycare provider. I am glad he is with you  and Danielle. He loves  "Debbie's Castle". I thank Katie for the necklace and magnet that she made me. Debbie, can you tell her again thank you. i will make her a special bracelet as well.


Gail, my mother-in-law, thank you for watching abby this summer. Though she loves to be with you all the time. Your bed must be more comfy.

Mom and dad, thank you for the support, money, babysitting..... I know you would if you could, get rid of this cancer.

There is a reason for God giving me this little hurdle in life, to make me believe, or become a better nurse practioner. to be able to relate better with my spirituality and my patient's.

As for my patients whom are reading this right now, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), thank you for all of the positive energies and and prayers. Soul catching I love you all.

I will be starting a new fb group, the caring soul (something) and offer tips about energy, spirituality and healjing. cystals, archangels, etc. be on the look out.

I am feeling pretty good. On my off week of chemo, i have problems falling asleep. I dont when I am so fatigued  after chemo.

My next chemo infusion is mon, Aug  22. I will be down next week.

love you all, thank you in supporting me.

My team for the susan G Komen race is Team Caring Soul.

love xoxoxo
jen

Feeling Really Tired

Well, I am on day 5 of my second treatment. It is worse, the side effects of the chemo the second round. (prob each one will get a little worsel. It didnt hit me until yesterday, I was tired on day 3 but not as bad as the first one. I didnt feel like I was in a tornado, but just overall fatigue.

My hair really is almost all gone, I look funny. few stragglers here and there on top.  I'm not sure what the back looks like, I haven't looked. kinda scared to look. I have a whopper of a headache, not really sure why. Though my loving husband stopped at Burger King for a whopper for me for supper. Something about how the ketchup and mayo mixes, is really good!

That's the most calories I have consumed in one sitting for one day for the last 5 days. My taste buds are off but I could taste the ketchup. Senses we take for granted. I savored that whopper with cheese. I may be paying for it now, heartburn city.

I have another sensation that we take for granted and that is touch. my skin is so sensitive that the fan in our bedroom is making my forehead hirt. it will have to go off in a bit. it literally hurts, the air blowing on my face and head. And of course Troy 'snoring' beside me, sound is amplified too. I am listening to reiki music while writing this blog. still loud.

i donmt have much hair left. I think this is the hardest change of them all. At one point about 2 years ago, I thought I had issues with my thyroid, my hair was thinning real bad,but then it stopped. I KNoW it will grow back, but seeing the image of my face in the mirror scares me. You know what is even funnier, when zach gets home from daycare, he doesn't even realize that my hair is gone. I suppose this is good, children know the image if their parents faces and their smells from birth. hair is nothing.

I love you, Troy, Abby, Zach, Grammy, Grampa, Mimi, Adam, Heidi, Anthony, Nathan, Hannah, Cyndi, and Faith!

U can't wait for tuesday, Faith is taking me to OJ's in Bangor, then pedicure. I have never had a pedicure before. I have very ticklish feet. Maybe pink tank from Victori's Secret.

night all. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. my mom is up for the weekend to watch zach for half day saturday while Troy works. last time it was too much, day 6 not good. still very tired and fatigued, hard to chase after 3 yr old even with a 9 yr old in the house.

2 Down, 6 More to GO

On Aug 8, yesterday, I had  my second treatment. I had to be stuck twice in my port, the first one was too close to the edge of my port. The lab tech put in 3/4 inch instead of 1 inch needle. The infusion nurse had to remove and place a new one. Which ran a lot better.

I was a little nauseous this am, hadn't been able to get my script for phenergan yet. Troy was going to drop it off before he went to work. I took my decadron and an ativan in hopes that it would help. It did. less nausea.

My taste buds started to go haywire. Starting to not be able to taste anything. drinking root beer. Eating watermelon. Resting.

Troy ended up getting out of work early because I felt quite weak this am and Abby was going to a camp out at Deeper Life Assembly in Pittsfield Maine. Pastor Matt Bagley runs the church. (no relation) He is a great pastor and makes church fun.

My face is still breaking out. I shaved my head the other day. Monday am, it was starting to come out in the brush. I wanted to buzz it so I didn't have to find clumps on my pillow. It actually doesn't look too bad!!!

I will add a pic from my phone to face book for all of you to see. Troy had shared a pic from the infusion room yesterday. Some of you may have seen it. It is def more airy. Got some bald spots oh well.

I may not post on this blog for a few days. Tomorrrow may be quite bad as in fatigue. You may hear from me on facebook, as I always have my phone with me.

Until next time. Love you all.

Debbie White: Thank you for the Healing Angel with a pink ribbon for breast cancer. I love it.

love you all

jennifer

Getting Ready for Chemo #2.

Troy figured out how I can do caps from my Android. You hav eto hold the cap key and the lettr key at the same time! I told him he sucks.......then I said thank you!!!

Tomorrow at 12:40 i have to be at cancer care for blood work, 100 for FNP appt, then 130 for infusion appt. My mom is goinb to come up and sit with me whike I get my treatment.

My hair is starting to fall out every where. omg.....definitely 14 days to the t..........I can pull out 15 strands at a time. pulls right out of my head and it itches like crazy!

'y seconf chemo treatment is tomorrow. I will be asking for some different nausea meds. phenergan and zofran. both just in case.

I want to thank everyone, my husband, my parents including gail, my daughter, my friends, my patient's and coworkers. you have sent me so much energy that i feel great!!

Love Jennifer  xoxoxo

So Much Better, Only to Start over Again on Monday

Hello, I am feeling so much better today. I haven't spent any time sitting in my rocking chair today. I have been up and around. Went to Walmart with my daughter, Abby. Went to lunch at Sawyer's Dairy Bar with Abby and Troy, he was going on lunch break.

And Abby shaved the back of my head to 1/8 of an inch. Buzz Cut like Troy and Zach. The top is still long, though I did trim the sides and back myself. Abby had so much fun zapping my hair with the buzzer. So much hair cut off. OMG! it was all over the place. It is so much easier, and I feel air on the back of my head. My hair had started to thin out. I have been told by Day 14, it will start to really fall out.

I keep telling Troy and Abby that I am going to look like a Sphinx. (A hairless cat)!! They think not. Troy thinks it is going to be cute. I am not so sure. My hair is my hair. I know it will grow back but the thought of me being bald, I don't like it.

I did pick out my wig and it is hanging in my room. It is a bit lighter. It is synthetic. A real hair wig is about $250, the one that I got was $100. We are a little strapped for money so I got the synthetic one. I have been told not to COOK with it because it will burn. It's name is "BETH" (catalog name). I got it at Hair and Co. in Brewer, by the IGA outer North Main Street ( rt 9).

My middle name is Elizabeth, how weird is that, that my wig's name is BETH!!! haha.

I want to thank everyone again for all the prayers and cards. Everyone that has come to see me, I really appreciate it.

My next infusion is on Monday. Just as I am feeling a whole lot better and can play outside with my kids, I have to start the whole process over again. My appetite is better, but I have still lost 10 lbs. 10 lbs in one week, that is so crazy!!!

I can not get enough fruit and juice. I have never craved so much juice before. I have been eating better the last few days.

I was out with my kids tonight after supper playing in the yard, pinching back dead flowers in my healing garden. jumping in the yard with Zach and Abby. I have so much energy. It's hard to believe that I will have to do the whole infusion and fatigue thing over again.

I have tried to get as much done as I can. I have the energy right now to do laundry and little bit of cleaning around the house.

I have started an afghan, ripple pattern. light purple and dark purple. I work on it when I am not feeling well. This will be my "healing afghan". I might even give it to my oncology doctor in the end when it is done. Dr. Sinclair at Lafayette is awesome.

I also want to thank Karen B. my Reiki Practitioner. Without her, I wouldn't be able to make it through what I have had to go through. She has been one of my angels.

Well until next time, Love you all.
thanks.
Jennifer

Sphinx Cats, Hairless, Funny Looking

Sphinx

Amethyst Crystals, Healing Crystals

Tiger's Eye, healing Crystal

Pink Ribbon, Made on my Computer

From my Healing Garden

Abby in the Pool before Hand Stand

Abby doing handstand in Pool!!!