Monday, August 29, 2011

A Good Day with Zach

I had most of today with my son, zachary. daddy was off doing his fantasy football draft with his buddies. Zach and i played a princess computer game (was Abby's), then had cheese pizza for lunch. he ate the bread and i ate his cheese. after that we played wii resort he loves the plane and the water skiing between obstacles. he also likes the bicycle one. i think i got more pf a workout today then in the last 4 weeks!  we had turned the wii off and started watching lion king 1 1/2 and loves pumba the pig. we had a good day today, just me and him. i havent been able to do much over the last week with him. we snuggled and snuggled.

he is a good boy. just needs to quite regressing to (terrible 2s). usually happens when there is a stresspr in the home. need to use timeout and time. his mom is being treated for a bad breast cancer.

i will give him all i got when i am good.

i love both my kids!

xx  xx

Friday, August 26, 2011

Day 5 of my 3rd Treatment

I am actually not feeling too bad today. Tired but not as fatigued today. Resting all day long. I was able to cook supper tonight. This 3rd treatment has not been that bad, the last one has been by far the worst!  I still cant taste  anything and suck on wintergreen mints most all the time. The bad taste in my mouth is horrible, but it will soon go away.

Abby can't wait for school to start. Tuesday! I can't believe my little girl is going to be in 4th grade!

My next treatment is on Sept 6 tuesday due to labor Day. we are going to the Blue Hill Fair on the Sunday before. I need my King and Queens French Fries! and doughboy before my next treatmrnt. I can't  wait! Will be meeting my parents there.

until the next blog, do your self breast exams and  get your mammogram.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Day 3 of chemo treatment

I am feeling tired and fatigued today. My Reiki Master, Karen stopped by to visit me today. She brought some organic cucumbers and have already eaten 2 of them. So yummy, even with hardly any taste buds.

The thing about beating cancer is a positive attitude even when you're not feeling well. Reki music helps calm my soul. I love my kids and husband. 5hey are an inspiration to me. Both Troy and I believe that neither of us could be a sinle parent! It's hard to worry about two kids,though abby doesnt start school for another week!

She is going to be in 4th grade! Can't believe it. She wants to play the flute too. she loves to sing as well as her daddy.

Reiki is my new attitude along with crystal healing. please visit it is a great web site for crystals and the spiritual side of healing.  I still highly recommend eastern medicine, chemo and such. But if you believe spiritually you are going to help heal, go with it.

My Chakras are all open, bad energy flowa out through my feet everytime I place my feet on the floor. thank you Karen.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

3 Down, 5 More to GO

Well, I had my 3rd Treatment yesterday. It went pretty well, took some premeds before the infusion and was quite sleepy. But sleeping is good at this time. I had a dear friend take me to the treatment this time, Jenny D. Thank you. 

I felt that Troy needed some Abby and Daddy time. They went to Bangor, looking at instruments for Abby this year, saw a Matinee of Spy Kids, and then had lunch at the Olive Garden. They had a great day and I am greatful. Troy needed some time away. Though I did miss him. 

Today, I am feeling tired. Slept to 1130 then came down stairs to sit in rocking chair. Watched some Forensic Files and than about 230 I fell asleep until 445. wow. tired. Tomorrow, I feel that I will probably be more fatigued, then tired. Took my decadron and some phenergan, I think the phenergan is what made me tired. But that is ok. I would rather sleep through the fatigue then be awake!!!!

Kids are doing great. Though Zach fractured his radius need the wrist, (missed the growth plate though, phew!!) He is doing great with his splint, not taking it off. I am sure it feels better with the splint on! more support.

Well, gonna go, just wanted to update blog.
Susan G. Komen, Race for the Cure is on Sept 18th. please donate if you can under Team Name      Team Caring Soul. my team name, if you would like to walk as well you can register under my team name too. 

Thank you for all the love, prayers, thoughts. 

Love Jennifer

My Loving Family

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Reiki Guides, Angel Guides

I want to first thank Karen Belanger, my Reiki Master. If it weren't for your gift of relaxation, spirituality, and loving acceptance, i probably would have worse chemotherapy symptoms. I believe that the meditations, crystal healing and soul searching have and will continue to heal me and kill those cancer cells. The power of prayer and meditation have grounded me. i do feel as though my energy is so high and intuned with my body, that these bad cells don't stand a chance!

Again, Karen, thank you for all that you have done for me. taking time from your busy summer schedule to teach, mentor and release with me. Thank you, from my soul. I love you.

To my Husband, Troy, without you, there would be no way I could get through this. I love you!!
To Debbie White, who has helped more then she knows. Zach has a special daycare provider. I am glad he is with you  and Danielle. He loves  "Debbie's Castle". I thank Katie for the necklace and magnet that she made me. Debbie, can you tell her again thank you. i will make her a special bracelet as well.

Gail, my mother-in-law, thank you for watching abby this summer. Though she loves to be with you all the time. Your bed must be more comfy.

Mom and dad, thank you for the support, money, babysitting..... I know you would if you could, get rid of this cancer.

There is a reason for God giving me this little hurdle in life, to make me believe, or become a better nurse practioner. to be able to relate better with my spirituality and my patient's.

As for my patients whom are reading this right now, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), thank you for all of the positive energies and and prayers. Soul catching I love you all.

I will be starting a new fb group, the caring soul (something) and offer tips about energy, spirituality and healjing. cystals, archangels, etc. be on the look out.

I am feeling pretty good. On my off week of chemo, i have problems falling asleep. I dont when I am so fatigued  after chemo.

My next chemo infusion is mon, Aug  22. I will be down next week.

love you all, thank you in supporting me.

My team for the susan G Komen race is Team Caring Soul.

love xoxoxo

Friday, August 12, 2011

Feeling Really Tired

Well, I am on day 5 of my second treatment. It is worse, the side effects of the chemo the second round. (prob each one will get a little worsel. It didnt hit me until yesterday, I was tired on day 3 but not as bad as the first one. I didnt feel like I was in a tornado, but just overall fatigue.

My hair really is almost all gone, I look funny. few stragglers here and there on top.  I'm not sure what the back looks like, I haven't looked. kinda scared to look. I have a whopper of a headache, not really sure why. Though my loving husband stopped at Burger King for a whopper for me for supper. Something about how the ketchup and mayo mixes, is really good!

That's the most calories I have consumed in one sitting for one day for the last 5 days. My taste buds are off but I could taste the ketchup. Senses we take for granted. I savored that whopper with cheese. I may be paying for it now, heartburn city.

I have another sensation that we take for granted and that is touch. my skin is so sensitive that the fan in our bedroom is making my forehead hirt. it will have to go off in a bit. it literally hurts, the air blowing on my face and head. And of course Troy 'snoring' beside me, sound is amplified too. I am listening to reiki music while writing this blog. still loud.

i donmt have much hair left. I think this is the hardest change of them all. At one point about 2 years ago, I thought I had issues with my thyroid, my hair was thinning real bad,but then it stopped. I KNoW it will grow back, but seeing the image of my face in the mirror scares me. You know what is even funnier, when zach gets home from daycare, he doesn't even realize that my hair is gone. I suppose this is good, children know the image if their parents faces and their smells from birth. hair is nothing.

I love you, Troy, Abby, Zach, Grammy, Grampa, Mimi, Adam, Heidi, Anthony, Nathan, Hannah, Cyndi, and Faith!

U can't wait for tuesday, Faith is taking me to OJ's in Bangor, then pedicure. I have never had a pedicure before. I have very ticklish feet. Maybe pink tank from Victori's Secret.

night all. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. my mom is up for the weekend to watch zach for half day saturday while Troy works. last time it was too much, day 6 not good. still very tired and fatigued, hard to chase after 3 yr old even with a 9 yr old in the house.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

2 Down, 6 More to GO

On Aug 8, yesterday, I had  my second treatment. I had to be stuck twice in my port, the first one was too close to the edge of my port. The lab tech put in 3/4 inch instead of 1 inch needle. The infusion nurse had to remove and place a new one. Which ran a lot better.

I was a little nauseous this am, hadn't been able to get my script for phenergan yet. Troy was going to drop it off before he went to work. I took my decadron and an ativan in hopes that it would help. It did. less nausea.

My taste buds started to go haywire. Starting to not be able to taste anything. drinking root beer. Eating watermelon. Resting.

Troy ended up getting out of work early because I felt quite weak this am and Abby was going to a camp out at Deeper Life Assembly in Pittsfield Maine. Pastor Matt Bagley runs the church. (no relation) He is a great pastor and makes church fun.

My face is still breaking out. I shaved my head the other day. Monday am, it was starting to come out in the brush. I wanted to buzz it so I didn't have to find clumps on my pillow. It actually doesn't look too bad!!!

I will add a pic from my phone to face book for all of you to see. Troy had shared a pic from the infusion room yesterday. Some of you may have seen it. It is def more airy. Got some bald spots oh well.

I may not post on this blog for a few days. Tomorrrow may be quite bad as in fatigue. You may hear from me on facebook, as I always have my phone with me.

Until next time. Love you all.

Debbie White: Thank you for the Healing Angel with a pink ribbon for breast cancer. I love it.

love you all

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Getting Ready for Chemo #2.

Troy figured out how I can do caps from my Android. You hav eto hold the cap key and the lettr key at the same time! I told him he sucks.......then I said thank you!!!

Tomorrow at 12:40 i have to be at cancer care for blood work, 100 for FNP appt, then 130 for infusion appt. My mom is goinb to come up and sit with me whike I get my treatment.

My hair is starting to fall out every where. omg.....definitely 14 days to the t..........I can pull out 15 strands at a time. pulls right out of my head and it itches like crazy!

'y seconf chemo treatment is tomorrow. I will be asking for some different nausea meds. phenergan and zofran. both just in case.

I want to thank everyone, my husband, my parents including gail, my daughter, my friends, my patient's and coworkers. you have sent me so much energy that i feel great!!

Love Jennifer  xoxoxo

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

So Much Better, Only to Start over Again on Monday

Hello, I am feeling so much better today. I haven't spent any time sitting in my rocking chair today. I have been up and around. Went to Walmart with my daughter, Abby. Went to lunch at Sawyer's Dairy Bar with Abby and Troy, he was going on lunch break.

And Abby shaved the back of my head to 1/8 of an inch. Buzz Cut like Troy and Zach. The top is still long, though I did trim the sides and back myself. Abby had so much fun zapping my hair with the buzzer. So much hair cut off. OMG! it was all over the place. It is so much easier, and I feel air on the back of my head. My hair had started to thin out. I have been told by Day 14, it will start to really fall out.

I keep telling Troy and Abby that I am going to look like a Sphinx. (A hairless cat)!! They think not. Troy thinks it is going to be cute. I am not so sure. My hair is my hair. I know it will grow back but the thought of me being bald, I don't like it.

I did pick out my wig and it is hanging in my room. It is a bit lighter. It is synthetic. A real hair wig is about $250, the one that I got was $100. We are a little strapped for money so I got the synthetic one. I have been told not to COOK with it because it will burn. It's name is "BETH" (catalog name). I got it at Hair and Co. in Brewer, by the IGA outer North Main Street ( rt 9).

My middle name is Elizabeth, how weird is that, that my wig's name is BETH!!! haha.

I want to thank everyone again for all the prayers and cards. Everyone that has come to see me, I really appreciate it.

My next infusion is on Monday. Just as I am feeling a whole lot better and can play outside with my kids, I have to start the whole process over again. My appetite is better, but I have still lost 10 lbs. 10 lbs in one week, that is so crazy!!!

I can not get enough fruit and juice. I have never craved so much juice before. I have been eating better the last few days.

I was out with my kids tonight after supper playing in the yard, pinching back dead flowers in my healing garden. jumping in the yard with Zach and Abby. I have so much energy. It's hard to believe that I will have to do the whole infusion and fatigue thing over again.

I have tried to get as much done as I can. I have the energy right now to do laundry and little bit of cleaning around the house.

I have started an afghan, ripple pattern. light purple and dark purple. I work on it when I am not feeling well. This will be my "healing afghan". I might even give it to my oncology doctor in the end when it is done. Dr. Sinclair at Lafayette is awesome.

I also want to thank Karen B. my Reiki Practitioner. Without her, I wouldn't be able to make it through what I have had to go through. She has been one of my angels.

Well until next time, Love you all.

Sphinx Cats, Hairless, Funny Looking


Amethyst Crystals, Healing Crystals

Tiger's Eye, healing Crystal

Pink Ribbon, Made on my Computer

From my Healing Garden

Abby in the Pool before Hand Stand

Abby doing handstand in Pool!!!