Sunday, June 26, 2011

Getting Ready for Surgery

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Surgery. I keep thinking, what am I going to look like with one breast? I just can't imagine it. Why me? Why did God pick me to go through this? Why does my family have to go through this?

At least, I have only cried maybe 4 or 5 times today. My mom and dad came up for the day. I love them so much. They gave me everything to be able to go to college and become a nurse. I have for as long as I can remember wanted to be a nurse. I think it was the summer before my 6th grade year, I had to have my appendix removed. I remember the nurses taking good care of me. I was in Bar Harbor hospital for about 4-5 days. Ever since then I wanted to be a nurse and help people.

Here I am today, I went back to school and became a Nurse Practitioner. If it weren't for my mom and dad and my husband, Troy, I wouldn't be here doing what I am doing today.

I want to say to my husband, Troy, I love you. Thank you for 2 beautiful children, Abby Sue 9 yrs, and Zachary 3 yrs. They are my life! Why do they have to go through this? My husband has been right by my side since the diagnosis.

So, surgery tomorrow. I am quite nervous about what may happen. I received some presents from Beth Bacon at SVH mammography department. A camisole with "removeable boobs" depending which side you have surgery on. I guess laughing is the best thing, sort of. lol.

Well, the next time you hear from me will be after the surgery. Goodnight for now.

Remember, Self Breast Exams find more cancer then mammograms. Know your breasts! If anything changes, contact your PCP.

Thank you all.


  1. Jen -

    You don't know me. We have a mutual friend in Trish Malone-Bessey and that is how I came to read your blog.

    My mom went through the same thing when she was 44. My brother and I were older than your kids but it was still a bit of an adjustment. Our mom was still our mom and the most beautiful woman in our eyes. That didn't change because the experience changed her in some respects in that it made her an advocate, it made her stronger and more faithful too; but it didn't change the love of our mother or how she still did things with us. It made us stronger too. Mom was open and honest with us about what was happening. Your kids are younger but you can still bring it down to their level and it will make them stronger and more compassionate as they grow.

    Keep the faith. You are young and strong and can beat this. Stay positive. That is 90% of the battle. You'll have rough days - be open about that with your family. Don't hold it all inside. Grief (yes, this process is similar to grief)shared is easier to bear.

    I'm praying for you and your young family and have faith that all will work out just fine. Remember God does not give us more than we can handle. We may not believe it now, but it is true.

    God bless you.
    Trish Walker

  2. Precious girl,
    I remember the day that we were told that mom had breast cancer, we were in Dr. Mazzarrarrie's office in Detriot. I had so many mixed feelings, Angry, Sad I wanted to scream @ the world "why my mom" But I took one look at her sitting up on that hospital bed in the hideous gown, and saw her looking into my eyes. Each of us had One tear drop rolling down our right cheek. At that moment this went through my mind, "She can beat this, WE can beat this together." The ride home was silent. So many thoughts going threw my mind, But most of all the question that I couldn't get an answer too and that was "why" She's such a caring loving Mother, Grandmother, Wife but most importantly to me, My Best Friend. We get home and she says to me " Go inside, I can't face your dad" Looking back know I can still see my daddy outside of the car holding her in his arms, from inside they looked like too teens in love But On the outside I can't imagine what was going through his mind. I sat beside the recliner for three nights after moms surgery because that was the only place that she could get comfortable. I was mad at God for a little while and then mom said too me that she didn't understand why but one thing she did know was that God never gave out more than one person could handle. Thank You for all the visits in your office when you had patients waiting to see you and you still sat with her & I and listened. I will be here to listen to you and talk anytime any hour. Talking is very important. Lots of Love too you Jenn..

    Melissa Plummer