My family keeps telling me to slow down. You're doing too much.
I can't sit still for more than 20 minutes. I can't shower. My hair is greasy. But, I am still alive. I guess going a week or so without a shower isn't so bad. Sponge bathing is for the birds. Can't wait to take a long hot shower.
My drains are still draining, average of 2 and 1/2 oz a day. If they still are draining that much by Thursday next week, the drains are staying in. :8(
One thing about these drains is that when you move or stretch, they hurt. I was trying to get off the toilet this morning and it brought tears to my eyes. Abby heard me cry and came into the bathroom. She asked me what was wrong. When the tubes move, it feels like a hot searing tearing sensation in my chest. It hurts. I cried and cried and cried. This is really the first time that I have really cried since I have been home. I felt frustrated. I hadn't taken any pain medication and felt so much burning in my chest. It only happens when I move just right. Pain is bad.
My husband won't let me do anything. I tried to get Abby some supper and he told me to go sit down. He tells me he is going to get a sling for my left arm, so that I won't use it, I told him he's nuts. I am not using my left arm for anything, it hurts to reach with it. The muscles are sore.
My chest looks really funny. The left side is quite flat, but the doctor left some extra skin so just in case I plan to have reconstructive surgery, there will be enough skin. I have to say, it doesn't look bad at all. (you know the women body builders that are flat chested? their pectoral muscles are so muscular, they don't have boobs.) This is what my left chest looks like, I feel. I might get the right side reduced to make it look the same. haha. Gotta laugh. Anyway, it doesn't look bad. I have gone out in public without a fake boob in the camisole. I don't really care what other people think. I am proud of my body no matter what it looks like.
My husband was a "boob" man. He looks at me as though nothing has really happened. He has changed. It doesn't matter what is on the outside, only the inside. We love each other and I think this has really made our love stronger.
On face book, Troy said something like, He has had a bit of a hard time adjusting and that I have been the "rock" of the family. I retorted back that he is the "earth" under that rock. If it wasn't for Troy, I would not be as positive as I need to be. I had a Reiki session and attunement prior to surgery and Troy didn't laugh at me when I told him about Reiki. Reiki is a practice of love and relaxation.
Reiki really helped me concentrate on what I needed to do to be ready for surgery and recovery. I am going to take the second attunement so that I can treat others and then become a Master next summer so that I can teach its healing powers.
- Purple is the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. Purple is a good color to use in meditation.
- Purple has been used to symbolize magic and mystery, as well as royalty. Being the combination of red and blue, the warmest and coolest colors, purple is believed to be the ideal color.
- A Swan symbolizes grace and beauty on many levels. It is associated with love, music, and poetry. In Roman mythology Swan was sacred to Venus, the goddess of love. In Greek tradition, this bird was often pictured singing to a lyre
MY SWAN OF HOPE!
SWANS MATE FOR LIFE, FRIENDSHIP
PLEASE, IF YOU ARE READING THIS BLOG, YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE IS AT RISK FOR BREAST CANCER. MEN AND WOMEN CAN HAVE IT. PLEASE PERFORM SELF BREAST EXAMS ONCE A MONTH AND AT AGE 40, WOMEN SHOULD HAVE THEIR FIRST MAMMOGRAM. IF YOUR MOTHER HAS HAD BREAST CANCER THEN YOU ARE AT HIGHER RISK OF BREAST CANCER.
I HAVE ONE FAMILY MEMBER THAT HAD BREAST CANCER AND SHE IS ON MY DAD'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY, SHE HAS BEEN CANCER FREE FOR OVER 10 YEARS. IT IS CRUCIAL IF THE MATERNAL SIDE OF YOUR FAMILY HAS HAD BREAST CANCER.
Well, it is late, I am signing off. Until next time, I hope some of you reading this blog will do a self breast exam.
Love
Jenn
Jenn,
ReplyDeleteI love your blogs it truely is helping me understand so much more. I never thought about self breast exams until mom was diagnosed with BC. I am being honest with you and you are the first I have told this But, I don't really know exactly how to do the breast exams. I do feel when I get out of the shower But I dont know the difference from what I am feeling, if its what is susposed to be there or not?? I feel stupid asking you this but I am almost 35 and believe that where mom has been breast cancer free for 3yrs and lung cancer free for almost a yr that I should be asking questions.
Take care of yourself and remember you are beautiful ;)
Lot of love and Huggss
Melissa