The Diagnosis

On June 7th 2011, I found a lump under my left armpit. At first I thought, "it's nothing." I spoke with my primary care provider and he ordered an Ultrasound. So after waiting Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I finally had got my Ultrasound on Monday June 13th. The downfall that I have is that I am a Family Nurse Practitioner and quite good at reading Ultrasounds. I saw a "black hole" or cyst like area. The only thing that was different was that there was blood flow to and from this "cyst." I had a bad feeling. My heart sunk. I stated to the ultrasonographer that it didn't look good. She looked at me and just smiled. She is not allowed to say anything until the radiologist reads the test.

Once the test was done, I stood up, got dressed and cried. The sonographer came back in and stated that the radiologist wanted an immediate Mammogram. She gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek. She said to me "Oh my god, I just kissed you and I don't even know you!" This actually made me feel more comfortable. She cares. It really meant a lot to me.

After seeing the mammogram pictures and the US pictures, I talked with my PCP. I immediately got set up with Dr. Huang in Bangor, a really good surgeon. We had our consultation and he ordered an Ultasound Guided Biopsy. I had informed him if anything came back positive, I had already decided to do mastectomy. Dr. Huang stated one thing at a time.

The US Guided biopsy was on Friday, June 17th, the day before my Birthday. I was going to be turning 38. The biopsy left a large bruise on my left breast. The weekend was hard. Monday came and no results. I worked my regular Monday. On my way home from a late night at work, my cell phone rang. It was my PCP with results of the biopsy. Rey asked me how far from home I was, which was 5min. He stated that he would call me back in 5 min. I told him that if he knew anything, then he had better tell me. This is when he told me that the biospy showed Invasive Lobular Carcinoma. Further testing was being done. ? estrogen dominant.

That night when I got home, I had to tell my husband and my 9 year old duaghter. I cried all night long. What a headache!!!! and my face so puffy. I did not go back to work, how could I. Everytime I think about my children, what I will look like with one breast, what will happen after surgery, whether I will have Chemotherapy or Radiation, I would and still cry. :*) (smile with a teardrop) I will continue to use this because despite having cancer, I am going to SURVIVE. There is a reason for God to have given me this process. I am not sure why yet, but I will figure it out.

Since the diagnosis of Breast Cancer, I have had more support from friends I didn't really know that I had. I want to thank everyone for your support. Please Pray for me, I need all the happy and strong energy on Monday June 27th that I can get. I love you ALL. I WILL SURVIVE.