I want to first thank Karen Belanger, my Reiki Master. If it weren't for your gift of relaxation, spirituality, and loving acceptance, i probably would have worse chemotherapy symptoms. I believe that the meditations, crystal healing and soul searching have and will continue to heal me and kill those cancer cells. The power of prayer and meditation have grounded me. i do feel as though my energy is so high and intuned with my body, that these bad cells don't stand a chance!
Again, Karen, thank you for all that you have done for me. taking time from your busy summer schedule to teach, mentor and release with me. Thank you, from my soul. I love you.
To my Husband, Troy, without you, there would be no way I could get through this. I love you!!
To Debbie White, who has helped more then she knows. Zach has a special daycare provider. I am glad he is with you and Danielle. He loves "Debbie's Castle". I thank Katie for the necklace and magnet that she made me. Debbie, can you tell her again thank you. i will make her a special bracelet as well.
Gail, my mother-in-law, thank you for watching abby this summer. Though she loves to be with you all the time. Your bed must be more comfy.
Mom and dad, thank you for the support, money, babysitting..... I know you would if you could, get rid of this cancer.
There is a reason for God giving me this little hurdle in life, to make me believe, or become a better nurse practioner. to be able to relate better with my spirituality and my patient's.
As for my patients whom are reading this right now, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), thank you for all of the positive energies and and prayers. Soul catching I love you all.
I will be starting a new fb group, the caring soul (something) and offer tips about energy, spirituality and healjing. cystals, archangels, etc. be on the look out.
I am feeling pretty good. On my off week of chemo, i have problems falling asleep. I dont when I am so fatigued after chemo.
My next chemo infusion is mon, Aug 22. I will be down next week.
love you all, thank you in supporting me.
My team for the susan G Komen race is Team Caring Soul.
love xoxoxo
jen
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Feeling Really Tired
Well, I am on day 5 of my second treatment. It is worse, the side effects of the chemo the second round. (prob each one will get a little worsel. It didnt hit me until yesterday, I was tired on day 3 but not as bad as the first one. I didnt feel like I was in a tornado, but just overall fatigue.
My hair really is almost all gone, I look funny. few stragglers here and there on top. I'm not sure what the back looks like, I haven't looked. kinda scared to look. I have a whopper of a headache, not really sure why. Though my loving husband stopped at Burger King for a whopper for me for supper. Something about how the ketchup and mayo mixes, is really good!
That's the most calories I have consumed in one sitting for one day for the last 5 days. My taste buds are off but I could taste the ketchup. Senses we take for granted. I savored that whopper with cheese. I may be paying for it now, heartburn city.
I have another sensation that we take for granted and that is touch. my skin is so sensitive that the fan in our bedroom is making my forehead hirt. it will have to go off in a bit. it literally hurts, the air blowing on my face and head. And of course Troy 'snoring' beside me, sound is amplified too. I am listening to reiki music while writing this blog. still loud.
i donmt have much hair left. I think this is the hardest change of them all. At one point about 2 years ago, I thought I had issues with my thyroid, my hair was thinning real bad,but then it stopped. I KNoW it will grow back, but seeing the image of my face in the mirror scares me. You know what is even funnier, when zach gets home from daycare, he doesn't even realize that my hair is gone. I suppose this is good, children know the image if their parents faces and their smells from birth. hair is nothing.
I love you, Troy, Abby, Zach, Grammy, Grampa, Mimi, Adam, Heidi, Anthony, Nathan, Hannah, Cyndi, and Faith!
U can't wait for tuesday, Faith is taking me to OJ's in Bangor, then pedicure. I have never had a pedicure before. I have very ticklish feet. Maybe pink tank from Victori's Secret.
night all. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. my mom is up for the weekend to watch zach for half day saturday while Troy works. last time it was too much, day 6 not good. still very tired and fatigued, hard to chase after 3 yr old even with a 9 yr old in the house.
My hair really is almost all gone, I look funny. few stragglers here and there on top. I'm not sure what the back looks like, I haven't looked. kinda scared to look. I have a whopper of a headache, not really sure why. Though my loving husband stopped at Burger King for a whopper for me for supper. Something about how the ketchup and mayo mixes, is really good!
That's the most calories I have consumed in one sitting for one day for the last 5 days. My taste buds are off but I could taste the ketchup. Senses we take for granted. I savored that whopper with cheese. I may be paying for it now, heartburn city.
I have another sensation that we take for granted and that is touch. my skin is so sensitive that the fan in our bedroom is making my forehead hirt. it will have to go off in a bit. it literally hurts, the air blowing on my face and head. And of course Troy 'snoring' beside me, sound is amplified too. I am listening to reiki music while writing this blog. still loud.
i donmt have much hair left. I think this is the hardest change of them all. At one point about 2 years ago, I thought I had issues with my thyroid, my hair was thinning real bad,but then it stopped. I KNoW it will grow back, but seeing the image of my face in the mirror scares me. You know what is even funnier, when zach gets home from daycare, he doesn't even realize that my hair is gone. I suppose this is good, children know the image if their parents faces and their smells from birth. hair is nothing.
I love you, Troy, Abby, Zach, Grammy, Grampa, Mimi, Adam, Heidi, Anthony, Nathan, Hannah, Cyndi, and Faith!
U can't wait for tuesday, Faith is taking me to OJ's in Bangor, then pedicure. I have never had a pedicure before. I have very ticklish feet. Maybe pink tank from Victori's Secret.
night all. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. my mom is up for the weekend to watch zach for half day saturday while Troy works. last time it was too much, day 6 not good. still very tired and fatigued, hard to chase after 3 yr old even with a 9 yr old in the house.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
2 Down, 6 More to GO
On Aug 8, yesterday, I had my second treatment. I had to be stuck twice in my port, the first one was too close to the edge of my port. The lab tech put in 3/4 inch instead of 1 inch needle. The infusion nurse had to remove and place a new one. Which ran a lot better.
I was a little nauseous this am, hadn't been able to get my script for phenergan yet. Troy was going to drop it off before he went to work. I took my decadron and an ativan in hopes that it would help. It did. less nausea.
My taste buds started to go haywire. Starting to not be able to taste anything. drinking root beer. Eating watermelon. Resting.
Troy ended up getting out of work early because I felt quite weak this am and Abby was going to a camp out at Deeper Life Assembly in Pittsfield Maine. Pastor Matt Bagley runs the church. (no relation) He is a great pastor and makes church fun.
My face is still breaking out. I shaved my head the other day. Monday am, it was starting to come out in the brush. I wanted to buzz it so I didn't have to find clumps on my pillow. It actually doesn't look too bad!!!
I will add a pic from my phone to face book for all of you to see. Troy had shared a pic from the infusion room yesterday. Some of you may have seen it. It is def more airy. Got some bald spots oh well.
I may not post on this blog for a few days. Tomorrrow may be quite bad as in fatigue. You may hear from me on facebook, as I always have my phone with me.
Until next time. Love you all.
Debbie White: Thank you for the Healing Angel with a pink ribbon for breast cancer. I love it.
love you all
jennifer
I was a little nauseous this am, hadn't been able to get my script for phenergan yet. Troy was going to drop it off before he went to work. I took my decadron and an ativan in hopes that it would help. It did. less nausea.
My taste buds started to go haywire. Starting to not be able to taste anything. drinking root beer. Eating watermelon. Resting.
Troy ended up getting out of work early because I felt quite weak this am and Abby was going to a camp out at Deeper Life Assembly in Pittsfield Maine. Pastor Matt Bagley runs the church. (no relation) He is a great pastor and makes church fun.
My face is still breaking out. I shaved my head the other day. Monday am, it was starting to come out in the brush. I wanted to buzz it so I didn't have to find clumps on my pillow. It actually doesn't look too bad!!!
I will add a pic from my phone to face book for all of you to see. Troy had shared a pic from the infusion room yesterday. Some of you may have seen it. It is def more airy. Got some bald spots oh well.
I may not post on this blog for a few days. Tomorrrow may be quite bad as in fatigue. You may hear from me on facebook, as I always have my phone with me.
Until next time. Love you all.
Debbie White: Thank you for the Healing Angel with a pink ribbon for breast cancer. I love it.
love you all
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Getting Ready for Chemo #2.
Troy figured out how I can do caps from my Android. You hav eto hold the cap key and the lettr key at the same time! I told him he sucks.......then I said thank you!!!
Tomorrow at 12:40 i have to be at cancer care for blood work, 100 for FNP appt, then 130 for infusion appt. My mom is goinb to come up and sit with me whike I get my treatment.
My hair is starting to fall out every where. omg.....definitely 14 days to the t..........I can pull out 15 strands at a time. pulls right out of my head and it itches like crazy!
'y seconf chemo treatment is tomorrow. I will be asking for some different nausea meds. phenergan and zofran. both just in case.
I want to thank everyone, my husband, my parents including gail, my daughter, my friends, my patient's and coworkers. you have sent me so much energy that i feel great!!
Love Jennifer xoxoxo
Tomorrow at 12:40 i have to be at cancer care for blood work, 100 for FNP appt, then 130 for infusion appt. My mom is goinb to come up and sit with me whike I get my treatment.
My hair is starting to fall out every where. omg.....definitely 14 days to the t..........I can pull out 15 strands at a time. pulls right out of my head and it itches like crazy!
'y seconf chemo treatment is tomorrow. I will be asking for some different nausea meds. phenergan and zofran. both just in case.
I want to thank everyone, my husband, my parents including gail, my daughter, my friends, my patient's and coworkers. you have sent me so much energy that i feel great!!
Love Jennifer xoxoxo
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
So Much Better, Only to Start over Again on Monday
Hello, I am feeling so much better today. I haven't spent any time sitting in my rocking chair today. I have been up and around. Went to Walmart with my daughter, Abby. Went to lunch at Sawyer's Dairy Bar with Abby and Troy, he was going on lunch break.
And Abby shaved the back of my head to 1/8 of an inch. Buzz Cut like Troy and Zach. The top is still long, though I did trim the sides and back myself. Abby had so much fun zapping my hair with the buzzer. So much hair cut off. OMG! it was all over the place. It is so much easier, and I feel air on the back of my head. My hair had started to thin out. I have been told by Day 14, it will start to really fall out.
I keep telling Troy and Abby that I am going to look like a Sphinx. (A hairless cat)!! They think not. Troy thinks it is going to be cute. I am not so sure. My hair is my hair. I know it will grow back but the thought of me being bald, I don't like it.
I did pick out my wig and it is hanging in my room. It is a bit lighter. It is synthetic. A real hair wig is about $250, the one that I got was $100. We are a little strapped for money so I got the synthetic one. I have been told not to COOK with it because it will burn. It's name is "BETH" (catalog name). I got it at Hair and Co. in Brewer, by the IGA outer North Main Street ( rt 9).
My middle name is Elizabeth, how weird is that, that my wig's name is BETH!!! haha.
I want to thank everyone again for all the prayers and cards. Everyone that has come to see me, I really appreciate it.
My next infusion is on Monday. Just as I am feeling a whole lot better and can play outside with my kids, I have to start the whole process over again. My appetite is better, but I have still lost 10 lbs. 10 lbs in one week, that is so crazy!!!
I can not get enough fruit and juice. I have never craved so much juice before. I have been eating better the last few days.
I was out with my kids tonight after supper playing in the yard, pinching back dead flowers in my healing garden. jumping in the yard with Zach and Abby. I have so much energy. It's hard to believe that I will have to do the whole infusion and fatigue thing over again.
I have tried to get as much done as I can. I have the energy right now to do laundry and little bit of cleaning around the house.
I have started an afghan, ripple pattern. light purple and dark purple. I work on it when I am not feeling well. This will be my "healing afghan". I might even give it to my oncology doctor in the end when it is done. Dr. Sinclair at Lafayette is awesome.
I also want to thank Karen B. my Reiki Practitioner. Without her, I wouldn't be able to make it through what I have had to go through. She has been one of my angels.
Well until next time, Love you all.
thanks.
Jennifer
And Abby shaved the back of my head to 1/8 of an inch. Buzz Cut like Troy and Zach. The top is still long, though I did trim the sides and back myself. Abby had so much fun zapping my hair with the buzzer. So much hair cut off. OMG! it was all over the place. It is so much easier, and I feel air on the back of my head. My hair had started to thin out. I have been told by Day 14, it will start to really fall out.
I keep telling Troy and Abby that I am going to look like a Sphinx. (A hairless cat)!! They think not. Troy thinks it is going to be cute. I am not so sure. My hair is my hair. I know it will grow back but the thought of me being bald, I don't like it.
I did pick out my wig and it is hanging in my room. It is a bit lighter. It is synthetic. A real hair wig is about $250, the one that I got was $100. We are a little strapped for money so I got the synthetic one. I have been told not to COOK with it because it will burn. It's name is "BETH" (catalog name). I got it at Hair and Co. in Brewer, by the IGA outer North Main Street ( rt 9).
My middle name is Elizabeth, how weird is that, that my wig's name is BETH!!! haha.
I want to thank everyone again for all the prayers and cards. Everyone that has come to see me, I really appreciate it.
My next infusion is on Monday. Just as I am feeling a whole lot better and can play outside with my kids, I have to start the whole process over again. My appetite is better, but I have still lost 10 lbs. 10 lbs in one week, that is so crazy!!!
I can not get enough fruit and juice. I have never craved so much juice before. I have been eating better the last few days.
I was out with my kids tonight after supper playing in the yard, pinching back dead flowers in my healing garden. jumping in the yard with Zach and Abby. I have so much energy. It's hard to believe that I will have to do the whole infusion and fatigue thing over again.
I have tried to get as much done as I can. I have the energy right now to do laundry and little bit of cleaning around the house.
I have started an afghan, ripple pattern. light purple and dark purple. I work on it when I am not feeling well. This will be my "healing afghan". I might even give it to my oncology doctor in the end when it is done. Dr. Sinclair at Lafayette is awesome.
I also want to thank Karen B. my Reiki Practitioner. Without her, I wouldn't be able to make it through what I have had to go through. She has been one of my angels.
Well until next time, Love you all.
thanks.
Jennifer
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| Sphinx Cats, Hairless, Funny Looking |
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| Sphinx |
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| Amethyst Crystals, Healing Crystals |
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| Tiger's Eye, healing Crystal |
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| Pink Ribbon, Made on my Computer |
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| From my Healing Garden |
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| Abby in the Pool before Hand Stand |
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| Abby doing handstand in Pool!!! |
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